That's exactly what it is really. Relapse and feel "okay" again. By a new definition of "okay". Relax and feel at home again in old ways. I was doing so well, i managed to gain a whole 11 lbs in the last few weeks and one day I even ate 3 full meals (very full really!) but after that day everything began to crumble. When my eating habits were really bad the last time i bought 2 new pair of shorts and i can feel a difference now in how i fit into them and i want to fit them again! The littlest things can be the most disturbing sometimes I guess.

On top of that, now whenever I eat my stomach gets really bloated. Even if I don't overeat or anything like that still it is bloated. I ate a bagel and a couple of nuts today and that's it and my stomach is STILL bloated. i just want it to flatten out and be normal again.

Eeeeeeeek i'm falling falling falling. but for once i feel sane again....oh the price to pay...