Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
I don't agree that therapists should "suck it up" and continue to work with those who they can't help because of their own unresolved issues, biases etc. Help can't be forced. If it's not sincere, any attempt to force it would result in harm. In that respect, I am a proponent of referring people as soon as the therapist feels even mildly uncomfortable with them and can't resolve this problem through supervision or their own therapy or in any other way. If therapists did it more, less people would get hurt. Unfortunately, they tend to hold on to clients way beyond the point of discomfort mainly for two reasons: a) ego-related (when they are trying to prove to themselves that they "can do it" and to avoid the "shame" of revealing to their colleagues that they couldn't work with someone); b) finance-related (this one is simple - to keep getting paid). Very few of them have guts to be honest with themselves about their limitations and to refer clients in an ethical and timely manner.
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This is a critical point I think. If there are problems, what is the right point to stop it, or talk about stopping it. I acknowledge that my T was between a rock a hard place -- wanting to help and not give up too easily, then realizing harm was already done and what to do.
I think my T is a fixer and rescuer type, and couldn't face that the process was traumatizing me (the first of your reasons). So she kept going. We ended up in a dangerous middle ground -- well past the point of causing harm but with nothing resolved.