Not a nice thing to go through. But I have seen very similar patterns in relationships where the abuser was not a narcissist, but had an untreated mood disorder, had more stress than they could handle or lived in a marriage where divorce was not possible. Some people can get very vile if they are sick/stressed and feel like they are trapped in a relationship. I have actually seen people who have become healthy after being forced out of the relationship, had to grow and take care of themselves. Some people who seem like the dominant part in a relationship sometimes have severe issues with taking care of themselves.

I know narcissism is real, but also everything looking like narcissism is not.