Your child deserves for you to pursue child support. It's a simple form that can be submitted in your local family probate clerks office. The fact that he hasn't been around displays lack of responsibility. Of course it hurts and is painful to be broken up with, and this is the type of behavior that hurts children, in the long run. Seems like false hope, wishful thinking waiting for him to come back into your arms. Are you pursuing individual counseling, even though he's not open to couples counseling?