Life is about taking chances sometimes, and allowing yourself to get vulnerable, within measure. This is not always the best thing to do, so you must judge situations carefully. However, being able to open up to someone you are in a relationship with is important. Getting to the level where you feel comfortable opening up takes time. Do not set high unrealistic expectations on yourself. Take some time to appreciate yourself for your strengths. I carry out an OCD behaviour daily (undiagnosed) and I've got periods of deep depression and anxiety and it's difficult if not impossible for me to open up fully to my partner about all that is going on inside my head. Before I entered thid relationship I worried I'd never find a guy who would want me for the person I am. So I'm writing this post to let you know that I've been in your shoes in the past and I know how difficult it is. Hugs.