There "is" a lot of truth in what Rose is saying, because you "do" need to make sure you do not get on your husband's emotional patsy list. That is all Rose got on when she did try to help her brother. That "can" happen, especially with a narcissist, so look at that link I provided and make sure you see the signs and yes, stand your ground. The big red flag to me was that your husband kicked you out and did not "care" where you went. What concerns me is that your husband doesn't even "care how is actions affect you" either.

I had that situation a little different, when my husband binged he did not "care" about me or that he was out all night. Then he would appologize profusely and declare his love for me and that he would stop. He would behave for a while even months and sure enough, it would happen again. My therapist has described this cycle to me, behaving for a while which is known as the honeymoon period, then being bad again, then behaving for a while again known as the honeymoon period then being bad again. It was like kicking me out too, because when my husband binged, he kicked out being responsible to me and respecting me. I did put my foot down once a friend explained to me what was happening as she was divorcing her husband who was even worse and that it was binge alcoholism. In my case there was no parent abandonment issues, but my husband has two learning disabilities that affected his self esteem and wound him up too. My husband did get sober, I was later told when things were challenged years later that my husband had the maturity level of a 13 year old and not to "mother him" but that he would be constantly pushing my buttons to do so. I was raising a child the same age, it was such a challenge.

I think what you need to look at right now, and you are still so young yet too, is do you want a partner in your life or do you want to have a forever child or a man that takes most of your life to grow up and man up and sometimes they never grow up, hense peter pan syndrome, or one that is in ways and emotional patsy to you. Believe me, you don't need that when you are trying to raise a child someday.

You know that saying "Love is blind", well it's true.