i feel this weird deep sadness flushing through me. idk completely why. idk if its from stress overall. my dad was in the room here with me talking and watching tv when i felt i wanted to write something for my class down. for my paper. he said he would leave so i could properly study and i said i could write it while sitting on my bed and he said he would just leave. so i just said ok. i know he wants me to do well but i dont want to be alone. i was enjoying having company.

as i was sitting thinking about my idea it started to leave me. then i got this deep deep deep sadness flush through me. this loneliness that made me want to cry. i just didnt want to be alone.

you know...im doing all this stuff...im keeping pretty busy...but theres one thing extremely still lacking in my life. one thing that im slighlty suprised but not really surprised about...

im still alone.

yea. i still really dont have anyone to talk to in real life. despite all im doing.