NewLyfeForReal,

I'm so pleased that my post was of value to you. I didn't expect something that positive to come out of this.

Gee, when I was 20, I thought, "If only I had a boyfriend, then I would be happy."

I'm sorry you have this burden at your tender age, but I did too at the same age. Few years later, I went for treatment and got told, "Oh, you don't have to feel that way. Get help and find recovery." Well, I don't want to discourage you, but for some of us, there are remissions, but no cures.

At 19, I had to take a break from my academics, which were a mess due to my lack of effort. Later in life, I went back to them and had a very successful experience. So the future can really hold much more than you may think at the moment.

I'm sure you're not worthless. It can feel that way, when relapses happen too often and/or too close together. Remission doesn't last, but I remind myself that neither do relapses. Be glad for what you've accomplished during the good intervals. Your post has caused me to look back, and I realize I didn't waste every minute of my life . . . not at all. I'll bet you haven't either.