You're not being an a-hole at all! So no worries on that.

(That 180 btw? Classic borderline. Don't bother trying to figure it out. As there is no logic to work with, it would be a futile effort. Save yourself the frustration and put it from your mind.)

I'm so glad to hear that you have pulled out of the depression! Yea!

You are puzzled over why you are not finding yourself in the depths of despair. If I may give a little theory ... I think that this recent incident is confirming that you made the right choice in ending it. Whether it is on a conscious or an unconscious level, your mind knows that, and validation feels good.