|
That is what the psychologist said at my first appointment. Sure I guess physically it does not pose any danger, 1 to 3 times a week won't cause any damage. So I can stop being upset about it and if it feels good then I can do it. However, it is my eating disorder thoughts that hurt me more:
Constantly checking myself in the mirror to see any bulding on my waist.
Thinking I have nothing else to offer in talent, intellect, worthiness and if I look fat then I am nothing.
Fretting over everything I eat.
Feeling guilty for eating
Hating my aging body.
I rather be dead than flabby looking.
Now I should know better but these thoughts seem to be so ingrained that I just can't stop them.
All this coupled with my BPD & PTSD is making my exsistance miserable. I need some relief from myself soon.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
|