Not at all. It is not time wasted . It is helping me, as well. I was better, after my last hospitalization, I was invited to participate in a meeting overseas and was very happy to do so, but early this week I started to feel badly. I am arranging things to be able to go to emergency room tomorrow. It cannot be today because I need to take care of some stuff given that my brother lives upstairs and he is kind of dangerous. (Long story). Today is an important day as I have to size how I feel to see what I have to do, really, but I am preparing for the worst, trying to hope for the best. Part of me says: what is this all for? I am trying to accept