I have been feeling a decline coming on for awhile now. Like the meds simply are not doing anything for me.

And my darkness (aka depression) creeps back.

Then yesterday, I was looking for something that I "thought" I had placed on my wife's computer. So, I looked in a few folders and the recycle bin. When in the recycle bin I see that she had recently deleted a PDF of "basic divorce laws" for my state.

I can not blame her. I am a mess and have never been a good husband. But seeing that SLAMMED me back into my darkness. I have speculated that the only reason she has not divorced me is because she is a nice person and is worried about my "safety". So, my prediction has been that once I am stable - she will file for divorce then..... Now I am pretty certain of it.



dark, dark thoughts.