"I need to visit a professional and have a referral from my doctors but don't know where to start. Counselling will be no help, talking is not what I need, an action plan and reasons are. I need to know cause and effect as then I can figure it out"

Pete, I am impressed by your clarity. Like Sideblinded, I consider your details to be an asset, though many people find such attention to detail to be annoying in me. It makes us excel in some ways, even to the point of seeing what others don't.

Like Sideblinded, I agree with you now looks like a great time for you to find professional help. I recommend that you be willing to shop around a bit, to find a good fit for you. No one has all the answers, and everyone has at least one helpful one.

Best wishes to you...