Keep in mind, the 'training' certainly isn't something accomplished consciously. Even in the OP's situation, it's as simple as taking off for days on end 'fishing' because he needs to clear his brain, and coercing the OP to accept this marital abandonment as normal and what a loving wife needs to accept with whatever arguments/excuses/justification he gives. Up there with the need for seven perfect daily dinners as proving her unyielding love for him....'training'. While he's probably off complaining about her, to whomever will listen...that saves his ego if she were to leave or if things end, because she's painted the bad guy from the get go....