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Old Apr 23, 2015, 12:47 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Hmm, I wonder, Seeya, if dad hasn't maybe been the source of some toxic thinking.

Again, too much time alone with dad may be quite unhealthy. That's why I encourage you to have dad come by for Sunday dinner at your house, or you join them on an occasional fishing trip. How that relationship works could probably stand a little shaking up. You being there with the two of them changes the dynamics. Plus, you get to observe what is being reinforced in that relationship that maybe ought not to be. Not that they are going to say everything in your presence that they might when you aren't there. But you'll get a feel for the flow of things.

So often parents are a real influence for retarding their children from becoming mature. One of the things that most people need to do is to challenge a lot of what their parents inculcated in them that wasn't so worth hanging on to. Sometimes we grow in wisdom and come to appreciate that our parents imparted some real worthwhile values. Usually, however, there is something that we need to tweak . . . or unload completely. It's good for the parent's voice to have to compete with other points of view.
You are so right Rose76. His dad was SO good to me the last six years. After this happened I spoke to him once. He was to call me back but never did. His dad also told his girlfriend not to have any contact with me anymore. That really bothers me that he could say that to someone. Everything has been going good until last night. I received a call from him saying he was at his dads watching a game and wouldnt be home because they had cocktails. Today, I received a message saying that he would be home really early today. Im working and havent had time to reply. We seem to go forward then one stop to his dads and we go to an idle. His dads house is on his way home to our house (an hour drive). We'll see how it goes tonight. Were leaving out of town together tomorrow.