Awww sweety, it's happened and now it's over with. We need to learn from this or make some real life decisions for you. I can see where everything could lead up to the event like the state of your marriage, the home enviroment, the way you feel, and top it all off with mania. It sounds like everything was stacked against you to begin with which clouded your judgement.

Please don't beat yourself up too bad over this. It's just a wake up call that things have got to change for the better. I hope you are feeling better.