Hello everyone,
I'd like to ask your opinions please. My T is VERY boundary focused, which for the most part, although I struggle immensely with this at times, I understand and respect. However, something happened yesterday that made me a bit angry. My T had told me that I should perhaps find a transitional object that reminded me of the work we have done / are doing together and that I can hold etc to make me feel safe. Seeing as she stole the only cushion in the room a few weeks ago when her back started hurting (I had been doing my usual "hiding" behind the cushion) I decided to make myself a cushion to take to sessions. So I spent a lot of time and effort hand making myself a cushion and on one side I decided to put positive quotes etc.
I asked my T to write a message / quote on there for me. This made her a bit angry and she point blank refused to, saying she wasn't going to give me anything, it was crossing the boundaries, why was I pushing her and trying to get her to break the boundaries etc. etc. This then set off all sorts of emotions for me and I ended up dissociating badly and the session went from bad to worse with horrible empty silences and at the end her saying well we've come to the end and me looking at the clock and childishly saying technically we have 5 more minutes and her even more childishly responding sarcastically actually technically we have 3 minutes.
I don't understand why asking a T to write something positive down for me is crossing the boundaries? Am I overreacting feeling disheartened and rejected because of this?