I try not to think about it. I would cry "for no reason" hard because I didn't know what was wrong with me out of no where. I became cold and distant from a typical ADHD kid. Why my mom moved in with my step dad.. Abusing my little sister.. Broken family.. Afraid to help her, in the middle of psychosis at 16 and didn't realize it. He abused my mom physically and I didn't know and the worst part is that she still loves him.. I can see why you're pissed.. everyone has a life and I say no to parties, not talking to people completely, isolation. Sleeping on the desk, hallways.. Then the depression lifted but the risperidone would knock me out for a milisecond in the middle of a conversations.

My step dad and I finally had a physical fight and he went to jail, I went to the hospital.. Again.. My mom said that I couldn't win in court to get him banned from Canada BUT I WOULD HAVE WON. My mom tricked me and said I probably lose. She can go to Poland with him but what ever they have two houses and are planning to live in BC in paradise while my dad still has to work, drinking when he's not while wanting to kill himself a few years ago. Why did I say that I have forgiven him? Because my mom pushed me to. Now I'm pissed because people keep messing with my emotions. I deep down can not forgive this bastard. He ruined my life and made it worse.. Probably triggering psychosis.

I'm pissed too. I went back and forth between school and the hospital so I'm still in highschool and it's like the illness is kicking me while I'm down to try and finish the job by interfering with my focus, motivation.. Everything..