{{{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}}

You are so sweet and thoughtful. I know Alex needs me, but I have so long been "existing" that I don't feel anything that would enable me to live.

There is nothing much left of me except the outer shell. Two days out and my h is getting upset with me because I am quiet and not "myself" and I'm "thinking too much".
He would not like what I am thinking or doing, so he needs to back off.

I have been more assertive about him getting a part time job - and he has actually been trying. Most employers will not hire him in any way because he can't read/write much at all. He refuses to go and try to get help because he "did that 20 years ago and it didn't work then either".

Today I was off and I spent all day putting in applications for a second job. I even went back to Chuck E. Cheese and I was told that I couldn't come back in anyway because he didn't want "that" in his store.......he had heard about my hospital stay and didn't want the stress or drama at the store. That hurt me, I will admit.

My psychiatrist is gone till next week and new T's first appt is next week too. I work straight thru till then (Wed). Not sure how I am going to deal with the working part.......I'm stressing just thinking about it.

All the love back at you, xoxoxoxoxoxox