Im lying here.... wondering why we have to live by society rules..... why life is the way it is.... why I do the things I do..... Why I work as hard as I do and not follow my passion.. Why I love one man but dream about another .... why my heart doesnt follow what it wants or better yet why the mind plays games.... why does everything I do always have to affect others..... why I cant just be free with out regrets on decisions I make or dont make.... why I constantly worry about every single thing... why cant I just leave, go and be me, without hurting anyone, without causing problems to anyone, without regrets for leaving or living .... In this moment I am feeling completely NUMB. Not happy.... not sad nor mad... JUST NUMB.

The music causes me to drift in and out of reality.... imagining what it would be like if I could do it all the way I WANT.... wondering what life would be like then...... I want to leave the society life.... and go be free..... where ever the music takes me.