Thanks for the replies guys. Ear plugs are a good idea. It is my Bday tomorrow so if I won't do anything rash before or during that. It is my goal to get through these two days.

You are right Christina. Still, I am trying to handle this at home, esp with my Bday tomorrow. Depression is hell. I cannot think clearly. I guess if I still feel terrible tomorrow I will have to consider IP seriously. I just cannot hold on much longer. It scares me. My mind scares me.

Today the SI is under control but still there. My parents are aware of how I am and will take me to hospital if need be. I am staying at their place on saturday so at least I will be safe then. Tonight I am supposed to be going out with a couple of new friends from work. I don't feel up to going but really need something to do as evenings are bad. I am talking in circles. I know I need IP but I am resisting it for some reason. The depression is eating me alive and confusing my thoughts.