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Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
When termination becomes traumatic and client cannot accept it, that tells me that something was wrong with the work itself, and so to me the problem is mainly how therapist conducts the work as opposed to how they terminate it. You said it yourself: "Even good intentions and well handled termination can become a smokescreen behind which the T can hide from the fundamental FAILURE OF THE PROCESS, and then just slip away." It's exactly that, it's the FAILURE OF THE PROCESS rather than the termination that is the problem.
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Yes, I see what you mean. If therapy goes well and termination comes about naturally then it should be fairly painless assuming it is planned ok. And timing would be another big factor. Even if the work is productive and positive, if termination comes abruptly during a critical period (either in therapy or in the client's life), seems it could still be quite damaging.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
When client is not confused about the nature of the professional relationship and what therapy is and isn't about, termination doesn't become traumatic. In fact, in this case, it's usually the client who calls it quits and leaves. When the therapist projects a clear image of themselves as a professional, not a intimate "friend", not a mother, not a guru, not a teacher/mentor, the client has no problem ending therapy when they feel they no longer get what they need. They quit themselves and they often don't even feel obligated to give the therapist an explanation and they don't have to.
I've never terminated a client. Whoever found me unhelpful left on their own and I had no problem with that.
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Appreciate hearing your insights as a therapist. With all Ts except the problem one, I chose to leave and was no big deal. OTOH, nothing much of consequence happened and it was mainly indifference that caused me to stop. With the problematic T, there was intense emotional involvement that was indeed too intimate. Whole thing induced me to develop overwhelming love/desire feelings for her, and then she basically rejected me in this regard. It was this unrequited love/rejection in the context of therapy and possible maternal link, and when I had placed trust in her and had been extremely vulnerable, that destroyed me, and then termination was another layer of rejection plus abandonment.