Are you seeing a therapist? If so ask him to come along for a session so your Therapist can break it down in a way he will be able to understand it.

" Most" guys are "fixers" if they can't just fix it they often withdraw.. Maybe that could be an issue?

If you don't have a T I would advise you to find one and DBT is really the gold standard in treating bpd.

Welcome to PC