{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}

I have always valued your thoughts and friendship. I think you are so special, and so strong.

I agree about the recovery and time to heal part - neither of which I'm getting. Went back to work the next day after release - thought I would go crazy.

I need more hospital time - I know this. I'm not sure what happened that day in my car that made me do what I did, but I do know that it was/is major and it's going to happen again...........I'm sorry to say that, and I don't want to offend anyone, please. Just being honest.

I called my psychiatrist and told his voice mail that I wish I was dead, that I had not had intervention, and that I want to die. Nice things to say, but all true.

It seems like if I don't act like I did before, people get angry with me. Things are off kilter now, not right. I can't explain why or how exactly, but they are. I'm not part of things, more of an outsider.

Hard to explain I guess. My mom finally decided to talk to me, and acted like nothing much had happened. We discussed the food I ate.......wow.

Now I have about 4 hours till I have to get up and go to work. I just can't keep this up for much longer.