When I really like them I really do? I got my last ex into modelling for pin up and she was gorgeous but she chose drinking over it. I couldn't do much for her. I felt horrible how it has been hard for her I still do I don't blame or guilt myself for anything, because it was all her, but I still love her. I think she was the only ex, I truly appreciated even though it was rough. The other girls I dated one I became friends with and still friends with we don't talk much but we are not affected by the break up at all. The other one lived too far away, didn't break my heart, but I miss her a lot as a friend. The other 2 were very abusive and I don't want associate with them ever again. I tried so hard for them and never appreciated me.

I really want something to feel real and right. I wanted someone who is nice to me. Someone who can give me space and not be an enabler to my issues. I'd give them the same respect easily. If I really like someone I'll do my best to be there for them friend gf best friend so on.

I feel obligated, because sometimes they need it. I don't leave people they leave me, I don't annoy or try not to. I really do my best to be the best friend I can be. I've always had. I know when I'm feeling close with someone. I feel happy and kinda like hyper and goofy. I enjoy it and I would want to be with someone who be there and not treat me like ****. I love making jokes with my exes and messing with each other when it was a relationship and not a codependent hookup fest. I like sex, but I really don't want it as much as I used to.

I got tired of it. Sounds weird, but I feel that it's caused more harm than good to me than them. I feel I've dated only people who wanted sex, and manipulated in every way to get it from me. Most of the time I didn't mind, but when it got too much and frequent and overwhelming, I didn't feel happy, just used I didn't looking at my man parts or even body for a long time. I still don't, I work out a lot I used to have a lot of weight and if I had a gf who be like my best friend before hand. I feel that would work best for both of us.

I definitely could make that happen. I just don't like trusting random people. I friendzone, but every once in awhile. I sometimes don't have the boundary because of infatuation and silly things, I can't stand about having feelings in the wrong time for me. Like this girl at work, is so rude about it, she's very sarcastic and she does have good qualities, but finding out she's lesbian and very harsh in her happy go lucky joking manner to other people's feelings and very insensitive. I am bothered, but now I don't care. I show her more how much I don't care after her hurting me recently. I'm trying to work at a different job not because of her, but she's part of a bigger issue there. That I want to get a better environment at a hookah bar where I'm friends with people there, and I'll work very hard. I'm very skilled and I love helping people customer service is fun to me for right now. I have great people skills, despite being an introvert. I'm an introvert in hiding, I show it when I feel I want to show it, behind my extroverted qualities of communication skills.

I don't talk to people a lot when I am introverted, but at work. I'm extroverted, I don't put on the face, because I have to, I want to. I'm good at it, I like to get better. I like making people smile and I enjoy that. Having a gf has not really made any difference from that. Most of my gf's I've met were through online, networking and random encounter. I don't feel that I was the best at communicating my feelings, but it happened and I feel that my worst relationships were people who were too cocky with me.