I had an idea before I started to type this called the authoritarian in my head. and I was going to explain the figure that dominates my mind, and allows for no pleasure and is in constant demand of perfection. But as soon as I started to type the words collapsed on themselves and my mind went numb. Nothing permeated the veil of consciousness and I am left with this convoluted mess of a post. All I can tell you is that I am completely unable to function. I can't read, be socially aware, watch movies, work, take photographs, write, socialize. Without the *** hat telling me of my faults, of my incompetence, of my worthlessness. I know that this is what depression is, but there are is also truth amongst the madness. Truths of my lack of competence, truths of my limited intellect, truths of my few capabilities. These are all truths from which I cannot cope. I cannot cope with anything really. My mind just diverted itself into the awful black pit. This seems to be all that can escape anymore. I feel as though I just wasted your time and mine.....