Thread: An epiphany
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Old Apr 24, 2015, 08:30 AM
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shakespeare47 shakespeare47 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankbtl View Post
Hi shakespeare, I'd say that it sounds like you've made a bit of a breakthrough there which may be really helpful to you, congrats
But if I can just throw something else out there, maybe it can help, maybe it won't but.......I don't think you necessarily have to always question the validity of your thoughts.
If you have painful, hurtful, "unproductive", "damaging" thoughts/thought processes in relation to a bad experience.........just because they're all that doesn't make them invalid, absolutely they're valid, they're understandable, they're "reasonable", you have a right to feel/think that way, it makes complete sense, and those feelings thoughts should be respected...........but I think that's what you're saying in taking them seriously anyway??
So it's not so much as questioning their validity, it's more in trying to find other (still understandable) thoughts/thought processes more helpful, to you, you might be able to implement.
So if you do feel........in relation to something, it's not wrong, it's not a "weakness", it's not you over-reacting, but if you can find an alternative in all of that........something that might be more "beneficial" to you............doesn't even have to be straight away, sometimes it just can't happen straight away and sometimes it might take years and years and...........
And gradually if your thoughts, then your thought patterns can change at your own pace, in your own way..........it can become more "natural"...........I'm not saying everyone can completely change their thought processes........some can, some can't depending on lots of factors, but you're right there can be hope out there.
Just some thoughts.........
And, I'm sorry you had to endure that with your family
It's natural that you must have felt negatively "judged" in therapy........as if you were at fault, as if your feelings were invalidated considering what you'd been through. But you, your thoughts/your feelings were not at fault, it was the way you were treated that was at fault
Just really good that you seem to be making progress now.

Alison
Thanks Alison,
Unfortunately, not all therapists realize that some of us didn't have the best childhood. Some of us remember our fathers getting drunk and physically abusing our mothers, some us remember our fathers kicking our mothers while she was in a fetal position. Some of remember our fathers slowly torturing our mothers verbally until they collapsed into mental illness. Some of us remember that our parents expressed their hatred of each other.

Some therapists literally cannot deal with those facts, and try to convince some of their clients that things weren't really as bad as they seemed.

I turned to MH professionals in my time of need, and they let me down. All I wanted was some acknowledgment of how terrible life can be.

It's hard for me to forgive the profession for that failure.

P.S. I did get some acknowledgement of how terrible life can be as I was also sexually abused as a child because my parents let me spend the night with a stranger. I first started therapy when I was in my 20's and that first therapist did comfort me in some ways, but then tried to convince me that there were other things that I had forgotten (it was the late 80's, and repressed memories were in vogue), and that really messed me up, that trying to remember things she suggested I probably forgot (like other abuse, maybe I just forgot?) So, even she failed me.
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Last edited by shakespeare47; Apr 24, 2015 at 09:17 AM.