Doing...okay. Starting to accept the reality that I'm going to have to go to IP treatment, probably for several months, likely at Johns Hopkins. Going to have to gain a lot of weight and give up a lot of behaviors that feel like they're helping me cope now. Worried about how I'm going to manage it financially, worried about missing anymore of my life, but I'll be dead. And soon if I don't do something. Eating hasn't been great, but hasn't been the worst it's ever been, but I wouldn't expect it to be great right now. Not eating more than maybe one semi-decent meal a day and sometimes not even that. Probably should stop running so much too. Trying to hang on until the end of the month so I can go to my brother's wedding. That's the tentative plan unless something catastrophic happens and I end up with cardiac failure in the ICU again. Then there's no passing go, no collecting $200, I'm going straight to treatment, so crossing my fingers and doing the best I can.
Hugs and strength to all who are struggling, summer seems to be a rough time for a lot of people. Hang in there everyone.