I can relate to this quite a bit. I used to be more outgoing, more daring, more carefree, even reckless in my youth. I got hurt a lot, real bad, and after a traumatic event, I became a different person, and I don't mind a bit. I don't want to be out there anymore. I don't want to let others in. I don't care about anyone, really, except my children.

I realized that I am on my own here in the universe and nobody cares about me more than me. I have to protect myself. Most people do not know this about me: I purposefully choose to be a recluse. I don't want others' drama in my space. I don't want to have to pretend to care. I am not going to do anything about it or help them, so I don't want to hear about it, and I don't care that I don't care.

God isn't going to protect me, that is clear. I was a child and God did not protect me, though my mother prayed every day. I know too many adults who were tortured as children and God did not protect them. So I teach my children to teach their children to exercise wisdom and protect yourself. The world is full of liars, schemers, manipulators, predators. Yes, there is a LOT of GOOD in the world too, and I see the beauty in many, from a distance, and appreciate it for all its worth.

Why am I here, in this forum? I believe my son has SPD. I want to understand him better. That's all.

Thank you for shedding light on the subject.