View Single Post
CaringMom23
New Member
 
CaringMom23's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 5
9
Default Apr 24, 2015 at 02:24 PM
 
I agree. I don't think there is anything wrong with this type of personality, speaking as a Mom who has a son who has always preferred solitude, seems content with virtual friendships, likes cats, and wants to earn a degree in Industrial Design. I don't see any problem here to solve.

I have probably been the biggest irritant in my son's world because I am the one who wanted closeness--to know what's going on in his head, to know him, to know that he's okay, to know his aspirations, likes, dislikes, thoughts, hopes, plans, whatever. I used to get confused and annoyed that he always turned down invitations to go out to dinner or lunch or a movie. I took it personally. I wondered why he hated me so much--I had always been on his side, I had always protected his freedom to discover who he is and what he likes, I had always defended his uniqueness, I had always encouraged him to find his path.

Now I understand, that when he calls me to talk about the cats, or to ask what type of mop head to buy to clean the grout on the kitchen floor, it is an opportunity to simply enjoy the sound of his voice and be glad that he is fine. I will never again make the mistake of using that phone call as an opportunity to dig into his head and heart. That is what he hates! Not me. He only hates the intrusion into his privacy. He's fine. That's all I need to know.

Now I understand why he didn't express much of anything in response to the dolphin experience at Sea World, and why he chose to stay in the van much of the time we spent in Yellowstone. It all makes perfect sense now! It's just how his brain is, it's just how he's wired, and there's nothing sad or bad or wrong about it!

CaringMom23 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
llleeelllaaannneee