Anyone ever feel like that?

I'm getting hit with huge stress from about 800 different directions. My stress techniques? Have none...Tried some of them, just can't keep my head from thinking of 10 different things all at once.

It's gotten to the point where even motorcycle rides don't destress me, and that's the only thing that used to.

I'm living with my fiance, which is great, she's my rock. She has two kids, I have one. I have mine 3 days on, 3 days off. She DID have hers week on, week off. Now though, she's had to take them full time due to a coke head ex boyfriend who's been arrested THREE times now for violating the restraining order she has against him, so it looks like we'll be getting sole custody of her two kids. I love her kids, but we NEVER get time away, and her 3 year old is just um, crazy.

Every time I pick up my son, every time, I always think "this will be the time that I won't be able to be a father." Don't know why, it always goes great, just paranoid about my lack of abilities. Now, I essentially have 3 kids. My fiance's sister lives with us, takes care of the little ones during the day, but does nothing else, so the last thing she wants to do is watch them while we go out for a night out.

I'm used to a quiet household, but it's just freakin' bedlam now. No way to get away really.

Plus, we're still having to deal with her ex and his threats, his attempts to brainwash his son (8) over the phone.

Work...Something's in the works that may or may not go through. If it does, means more money but a ton more responsibility. If it doesn't, stuck in a job that barely is able to afford the 6 of us (plus my ex-wife's "fee").

I'd love for my fiance and I to be able to take a vacation, just don't know how that's going to happen.

Now, I find out that in addition to my slew of other problems, I may be Bipolar. Not that big of a deal really, putting a name to symptoms I already have I mean. Might be a relief in some way, then that can be treated as well.

I don't know, the only way i've been able to keep the 10 different voices out of my head is to drink, and that only got out of hand, so I had to quit, despite my "better" judgement!

Grrrrr......