I'm sorry you feel this way

But I sadly completely understand. I never expected to leave me and especially not in the way that she did. There were no signs. No one expected it. It hit me like a freaking train. And it's been 6 weeks and it still hurt so bad.

I don't want to trust any other person, especially any other T. I don't ever want to be betrayed like that again... But I truly feel I have to. In order for me to make the progress I want to, I have to open myself up yet again. Though there are some things I told ex-T that I will never tell another living soul about again.

I have lived long enough locking people out of my life and I know what that did to me.

Do what's best for you, but also give yourself permission to revisit your decision in the future. You might change your mind about a T if you meet the right one.