My Support Forums - View Single Post - Sorry for posting so much since, well, forever

cashart10 · Apr 24, 2015, 11:01 PM

What the hell is wrong with me? Really! I **** everything up all the time. I am a mess. I am spending and spending but I'm not manic. I thought I was but I am now sleeping all night, sometimes too much. Also, I think that the energy from these new meds just has me confused. All week I have been a hot, ready to check out, mess.

self harm trigger:

Possible trigger:

I want to carve things into my skin and into the walls...evil things, vulgar things. I think that "my feel good" days have blown up in my face. It is not acceptable to tear out one's eyes. But, perhaps I could tear my clothes like they did in Biblical times. I am not afraid, only stubborn, only messed up in my head. I am losing touch with reality sometimes. I know this because I am well enough at the moment to know that my kids need me desperately and I must live for them. I don't always know this though.

Is anyone else as messed up as me? Now or ever before? Please say yes.