It's hopefully not (quite) as shallow as it sounds but I'm afraid the more that I think about it, I am very afraid that it's that black and white...

Just tonight, I was bored and energetic and feeling inspired so I wrote out a "ideal relationship" goal list and I was rather proud of it because not only was it based solely on psychological factors and common beliefs, it was incredibly general and I think based on that list alone it wouldn't be so hard to find a mate that was suitable for me.

I am consistently trying to be positive and picture how that future person in my life is real and will come along eventually, but I've noticed that my sole issue is that when I picture this person who has the pretty attainable personality that I'm after, I start to fret when I realize that the truth is that even if I found someone just like what I want emotionally, I also expect them to be as handsome as I would hope for in my head.

Frankly, I may have already known a few people in my life that I think I could have been happy with based on how they treat me, but the problem and why although I was able to acknowledge that, is that I was just not physically attracted to them. And that fact alone is what stresses me out and makes me insecure about not finding peace and happiness in a relationship.

I think it's worse than it was before, with me let not knowing how to repair it, because the last person I was seeing is the most beautiful, attractive man I have ever been with. I admittedly still have some feelings for him, even, but am already in the "moving on" process because he did not seem to match me at all emotionally.

I am afraid that I can't even allow myself to get to know if someone is my emotional match unless they are at least equally as physically attractive as him? Or, is it just perhaps only such an issue because I still see him in my mind all the time and maybe my feelings are still just too strong?

I'm stressing and I'm trying not to let myself sink into any type of depression about this. Any advice would be appreciated.