with understanding -
can you get him a Lifeline (a device that he can attach to hand around his neck, or somewhere convenient) so that if he needs help when no one is around, then he just has to push the button, then Lifeline responds. There's a monthly rate for it. Some places it's called ProtectAlert.

I know some of the feelings that you have described - I can't take this myself (re: elderly parents and their needs when I don't have time), and I feel like I am the one who has had this dropped onto me.

It's like they don't realize that others are not retired - therefore cannot just drop daily obligations to become their chauffeur, caregiver, etc.

I figure that either home care staff, or some of the other care providers (in the phone book) are going to have to be included. Yes they cost money. But who works for free?
It's like getting my computer or typewriter fixed - $45 - $60 per hour. No one works for free. Caregivers also do not work for free.

Hope things work out for you.