So, I've been battling with, what I thought, was depression, for, 6 months or so. I've never been an open person, in any aspect if my life.. More recently, I found myself in a very committed relationship, with an amazing guy. He has taught me, to be more open about everything. Whig is a good thing, I'm sure.. So, I eventually told him, how I hadn't been feeling ok.. He doesn't understand the first thing about depression..
He started worrying, so much. I finally, managed to get to the doctor yesterday.
It was one of the hardest days of my life in terms of anxiety. Work was the biggest struggle, I couldn't concentrate, nothing.
So, anyway, I get to the waiting room, the most anxious, I have ever been, they were running 45 minutes late. It was the scariest thing I've ever done, by far. I just wanted to run.
But I stayed. I went in, and the doctor was so nice. She told me I have major depression. Which, the depression word, was no surprise.

But it feels so surreal. So scary. I've never had a name to put with it. I'm scared. What does it mean for me now? I have to start seeing a psychologist.. So I have to go through that anxiety again :/. Anyway..

I just needed this. A vent. I can't believe I have a word for it all. Uhh. I'm so lost.