Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruftin
Hello  and welcome to Psych Central CrewCut!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.
Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator if you need help navigating the forums. It will take some time for your first five posts to appear as they are being evaluated and then you will be able to join chats.
I'm sorry for your struggles. I haven't been able to date following the breakup with a boyfriend who repetitively cheated on me for a five year time span. I've since realized he had his own issues but I can understand your anxiety and reluctance to get close as I now experience it myself. I admire your courage to get out there and date again.
I look forward to seeing you around!!!  |
Ruftin,
So sorry that your boyfriend cheated on you. Being cheated on is a horrible experience. I kept blaming myself constantly when my ex would cheat. I kept thinking if I was just a better husband, she would not do that. But she also had issues (she was molested by her father as a child). I have no idea how devastating that would be (and she only spoke of it once). But it had to have a terrible affect on her.
She truly was never happy with anything in life and I think she was (and still seems to be) constantly searching for happiness.
If I learned one thing during my marriage, it is that it was not my job to make her happy. My job was to be kind, faithful, affectionate and supportive. Looking back, I know I did all of that. People are either happy or they are not.
Her affairs really took a toll on my self-esteem. I felt completely worthless for years. There was a long period where I was absolutely convinced that I would never have a partner again because I was so deeply flawed.
So now I have a wonderful girlfriend that absolutely adores me (and I adore her). My challenge is let myself believe that I am worthy of her affections and admiration.
I am glad I found this place....
