Hi everyone! Oh my, I have never felt "loved" like this before and that is the truth. I am safe! My school ended on June 1 (I'm a teacher) and I am more busy now that I'm home than I am while working. I am so busy with my own kids right now and their goings-on, that I haven't had time to "dwell" or "focus" on my real problem. Yes, I'm pushing it to the side I think, finding myself getting by.

My husband had an end-of-year party a week and a half ago. His ex-secretary was there with her new beau. My husband asked me if I said Hi to her and I said "We made eye contact." He asked me what my problem was and I couldn't bring myself to say anything about "their relationship" "the pictures" etc. I just said I didn't have a problem with her. Then he said, "Let's go say Hi...." I told him no...and all "h" broke loose. He said I thought you didn't have a problem...I just said i didn't want to say hi...on and on. Well, she came up to him a few times and I just walked right by her (like a teenager)...Oh, I am so dumb. I should have just played it off, hugged her and all would be fine..but NO, I acted like a little girl. My husband made sure he told me that too. Said I should be embarrassed. Funny thing is, secretary probably knows I have a problem and she didn't bother to "come to me" to say "hi"....

I'm rambling...sorry...but I see my therapist tomorrow morning and will ask about it. My husband is hoping I ask my therapist about it to see what my issue is. I know what my issue is, I just can't tell him...I hold it in. Yes, I'm afraid. So I hold it in.

Wish to hear from you all and thanks for thinking of me. I treasure ALL your words!