Alone as usual thinking it would be nice to have somebody to talk to. Couples walk by and I feel heavy like lead. Waiting for food which has always been convenient distraction but it certainly has failed to fill the gaping hole inside. There's laughter in the background and I want go deaf - I hate myself, I hate being alone again. Last night I dreamt I smelled your hair - I don't know who you are but I love you. I look at the seat next to me hoping you'll appear but you never do - your skin is made of air. The coffee smells good it briefly sedates the self abuse - the crying child. The waitress said something to me -I notice her smile and make believe. Right now I need a friend - not tomorrow. The loneliness makes electric worms crawl up my skin - what ever happened to the way it's suppose to be. What's it like to not hear yourself breathe - to catch the respect of another. The eggs arrive but I feel nauseous - dancing alone has turned my stomach to mush. The waitress asks if I'd like more coffee - I want to taste her neck as the desperado returns. In the corner a woman sits alone - should I ask her to dance? Paralyzed I'm convinced I will never close the distance.