I do not see how that is even possible. What "help" is is always defined by the person being helped. Yes, the person who sees themselves as a "helper" may have a different definition but them that are being "helped" can dump their tush if they don't agree or explore where the other person is coming from and whether it might broaden their own skull containment area to look at things from a different viewpoint. Yes, I get to judge what does or does not help me but I also cannot know before something is done in the future/present if it will/will not help at this point in time/future. I may suspect that I will not like cooked carrots if you make them for me next week any more than I liked them this week but I hated them as a kid and don't have any problem with them now?

Wanting to define/control the "help" we are given can also become a definition of the box we're trapped or will become trapped in? Categorical rejection is a dichotomy and misses out on the shades of gray whereas the shades of gray philosophy can include black and white if it chooses.