My surgeon has refused to do the biopsies. We had quite a discussion. It was in no way an argument, but I told him what the endo told me to tell him. Because she hasn't sent her letter yet, he didn't believe me!

I went to him over a year ago about these lymphs. He just wants to wait and watch. Well, I've waited and watched and the only thing I know is that they hurt more and are more enlarged.

I don't have any idea who I can get to do the biopsies. I've never needed another general surgeon. I saw my pdoc today and she said if the endo can't think of anyone, to go to my family dr and tell him what's happened and see if he can refer me out to someone. (Actually, my family Dr. is a she, but she's having a baby, so I'm seeing her hubby right now.)

So, now I wait and see if I can get help.

I was trying to get my mail today and the apt blg's biggest loud mouth who swears we were friends in high school even though I never laid eyes on her there, caught me in the mail room. Her language would make a sailor blush. I have quit answering the door when she knocks because she makes me so nervous, never has anything postive to say and always puts me down. No matter how sick I am, she's sicker or someone she knows is much more ill. No matter what, she dismisses my illnesses as nothing.

She constantly harps that I am sick all the time. Well, if I wasn't sick, I couldn't live here! It's housing for the disabled and elderly!

I really hoped she would get the idea that I didn't want to associate with her when no matter how much she literally pounded on my door, I wouldn't answer.

Obviously, she didn't get it. She started in about me not answering my door. I told her I had been sick. That set her off and she started telling me I've been sick forever but her cousin's husband, (or someone), had cancer and she was upset over it. That's when I lost it.

I spoke my truth and made her move out of my way. She was blocking my way out of the mailroom.

I hate losing my temper. I hate it. I am always left shell shocked and horrified.

Jan