2.5 months in..

It's snowing more.. Flowers were blooming.. I want a buzz.. 10 cigarettes this morning.. Only the first one or two in the morning gets me a buzz .. Wasting more money on internet so I'm going to stop using my phone... 18 years old I want a better life than this.

The thought of having disability when in my apartment is boring but I can still do welding part time down the road because my boss said I could do that. I could do my homework in peace and quiet. I'd have to kick out my renter that pays the mortgage though.

I want to enjoy life. I want to have fun. The dealers better leave me alone.

The doctor is pushing my psychiatrist to increase the Vyvanse because I have these almost unrealistic fixed goals yet she sees potential in me that a lot of people don't have when they end up here.