I am very glad to be out of an unhealthy relationship. Before deciding to end it, one piece of knowledge stood out to me, was provided one parent is relatively healthy on an emotional level, and I use relatively because our brains are imperfect organs, that children stand a better chance at not repeating the patterns of dysfunction.
It's an interesting coincidence that you mentioned mother's day as a stand out memory of your father's behavior as such. I want to say the second (or third)mother's day after my mom passed, my ex maintained a couple hours of a visitation schedule. I told him that since he'd visit them, I needed a couple hours to myself. What a fiasco. Was berated, how dare I not want to be with my kids, in front of my kids. It was a fiasco. It was my first after her passing no longer on an anti depressant and I felt intensely due to not having the medication. Needed to feel my emotions for what they were.

I bring this up, because once the silence begins, it's nearly unrecoverable unless they grab their own bull by the horns and willfully address their issues and make a change...