I'm almost 25. I have been unemployed almost a year now. I have attended (and dropped out of) 3 different colleges. I live with my boyfriend and he pays for everything. I feel like a huge loser and failure. I have rejected the idea of depression and medicine over and over but I feel like it's time I stop lying to myself. I'm at the point where I am so embarrassed of myself and my life that I stay home and avoid people as much as possible. I get so tired of the question "so what are you doing now?" since "nothing" is a humiliating response. I feel like I'm not intelligent enough for school. I also don't feel any motivation or drive to even try anymore. I just feel so stupid compared to everyone else so I get frustrated and give up. I have no real skills. I can't even get through job interviews without getting extremely anxious. I feel like my life is going nowhere and I hate myself. All I do anymore is sleep and watch tv. I don't even keep my house clean which is pathetic since I have nothing else to do all day.

So I guess I'm here asking for advice. I'm scared and embarrassed to go to my doctor. I don't know how to ask for help or bring up the topic of depression. I'm afraid I will start crying and embarrass myself even more. Could anyone please help me figure out the next step?