I'm sorry to say, that I really don't know what to say about your actual situation.

But I did want to comment that when I first came to this site, not too long ago, I was actually conflicted with whether or not I might be Borderline or maybe OCD. I admit I had a pretty misguided view of both until recently. And I'm still learning a lot of new things every day.

I'm just now about to go to my first therapy session, but after a lot of research online, on this site in particular, and in the forums here, I do find that OCD fits me very well. Like a glove.

There's a lot of great resources and material here to get a good perspective about the ins and outs and struggles and treatments for various conditions and disorders.