Backround: so I've always loved whales, praticularly orcas, my first tattoo was an orca the stretches the length of my foot, and the ocean. I'm 24 years old. I've seen the ocean once when I was 19, it was magical. I've never been to seaworld, I've never seen any whale up close ever. I've always wanted to go to seaworld, even though I don't agree with whales in captivity. The thought of getting to see an orca that up close for me is overwhelmingly emtional. Exciting and amazing and terrifying (so big swimming right in front of my face) and so so sad all at the same time. I've never ever before had dreams about orcas or seaworld. I have seen blackfish, when it first came out. If I had the opportunity to go, I would without a second thought. Just because I've wanted to see them so up close since I was a child.

The dreams:
The first one was pretty weird. My boyfriend and I and I think a few other friends went to seaworld, they had a water park ride where at the end you go down a slide and into the water with a few baby orcas. There were trainers with them and you could pet them and swim with them for a few minutes. So I go down the slide, there is little kids infront of me that cause a back up at the bottom. They kids get out, the lifeguards tell me to go. I get to the bottom where the pool and whales are and there is a whale literally on the slide infront of me. I throw my legs up (Gyno exam style) on either side of the slide and refuse to go any further. The trainer with the whale tells me to come down, it's ok and feeds the orca a fish. The whale opens it's mouth and all these crazy lime green tentacles come out, grab the fish, and pull it in its mouth. I'm totally ok with this (like in my dream that's really how whales eat fish) but I still won't go down the slide. Then I woke up.
The second one was again me and my boyfriend were at the ceo's office of seaworld, he has a whale tank set up like a super fancy indoor pool in his office with a walkway over the top. He says to sit in the walkway and the trainers tell the whales to jump up and rub their backs on our feet. For some reason I had ugg boots on. One of the whales jumps up and cuts her nose on my boot and she's bleeding really really really bAd. I start freaking out and start yelling "she's bleeding! Her nose is bleeding! Help her! Do something!" And they do nothing. The trainer closest to me turns and corrects me saying "it's called their rostrum, not their nose." Then I woke up.
The third one they set up a circle on title floor with ropes and those line seperater things. People stood around and they lifted a whale up out of the tank onto the floor with no water (I distintly remember telling/thinking in the dream that the whale they lifted was tilikum to my boyfriend, who was there through all three dreams) and then they (the trainers) encouraged people pet him. We stAyed towards the back of the crowd and didn't get close. I remember there was a lot of anxiety on my part, about everything. The safety of the whale, him being out of water, the safety of the kids so close and touching him. It reminded me a lot of when I was a kid and they used to basically do the same thing with the elephants at the local zoo, little ropes as a "barrier", trainer telling the kids to scratch them and all. Then the dream kind of fast forwarded and we were watching the orca show. In youtube videos Ive seen, they have a "splash zone". In the dream the splash zone was converted to a row of seats with an acrylic slide out area over them. The trainers instructed the whales to do literal summersalts (which whales can't do out of water, I know, it's silly) ontop of the slide out, where kids where setting staring up in awe. They had three or four whales go at a time, and one messed up and started to fall through the slide out onto the kids and they all put their hands up against the glass underneath like they were trying to hold it up, like in Jurassic park when the trex bust the window out of the jeep and Tim and Lex are holding it up. Then I woke up.

All three dreams I'm really excited to see the whales and once I do it becomes scary and depressing. All three dreams have this vibe of anticipation and then things go wrong and the vibe changes to "everything about this is so wrong" and like I'm at a really cheap circus. Like I'm in awe of everything but at the same time I feel guilty for coming. Kids are play a big roll in 1 and 3, which is weird. I don't have kids, I'm not a huge fan of kids, my boyfriend wants them and we've talked about that a few times recently. I decided that I think we should in the fairly distant future and I'd probley like kids a lot better if they were mine.
So what's it all mean?