I'm sorry you're struggling.

I'm not sure what you mean by "a PTSD episode". In a flashback I'm lying on the ground thrashing about and screaming in pain; in a panic attack I'm overwhelmed, sometimes hyperventilating, unable to think straight and I have trouble communicating; when I'm "simply" reminded of the traumatic event it feels like a slap in the face and I may or may not panic, but respond either not at all or verbally agressively (for example, biting "not now", I don't call someone names or anything like that).

Again, not sure what you mean, but I hope I've answered your question.