Well I'm back where I started: holed up in my bedroom too afraid to come out to even get food. Have spent the entire day in my room only coming out to go to the toilet when I hear my roomate go out. Now it's night and I'm in my room in the dark and don't want to turn my lights on otherwise it will draw attention to me.

It's stupid how I know everything wrong with the situation today and can type it out rationally, but still can't do anything about my fears.

I nearly had things under control. I was nice to the new roomate, I entertained them when they wanted to chat or play cards. I submitted to their nosy questions (What are you doing today? Where did you go?) even though I really wanted to tell them to mind their own business.

And I don't know if it's all the talking I've been doing lately but I have had enough and withdrawn to my room permanently. I let myself show irritation and anger in front of them and now I've failed.