this is a long story, i will try to keep it short

7-8 years ago i met a girl online and fell quickly in love, she lives in south america and i live in north america
we spent everyday talking to each other all day for atleast 3-4 years
everything was perfect, or seemed perfect..
i was doing everything i could to save up money to visit her

i went through periods of paranoia, we had arguements and i always ended up apologizing feeling like an idiot...

4 years later, one day i find out that she had been lying to me about everything...
she was even with another man...

so here i am years later, broken down because of a crazy relationship i had over long distance...
its been so long i have trouble keeping up with the time, but i think its been 3-4 years since the breakup... and im still not over her, or the things that happened to me...

i dont really know what else to say besides im really broken, my mind is messed up because of everything... and i feel like there will never be another chance for me to fall in love and that i'll never get over her

everyone around me keeps telling me that i need to have a girlfriend, but how am i supposed to meet a girl and have a relationship when my head is so messed up from the past..?

it feels so lonely sometimes, i dont know what else to write