You are certainly not alone in feeling like that.

I don`t know, would my life have been different without my BP? Yes it would. But this is it. This is my life, and I am on this earth only once. I have to make the best out of it.
Would it have been easier? Maybe. Maybe not. We all have out crosses to bear.

A friend of my mother lost her son in a truly horrific and tragic manner. She has never been the same since. While my child is healthy and happy...

A girlfriend of mine has a brother who is a heroin-addict. She lives in fear of him, because he is violent, and steals from his family, and at the same time she fears that something will happen to him. While my brother is a great guy...

A woman died from cancer. I know it was a long, hard and very, very painful battle against death. And I know that when she died, she was not ready. And how deep her agony was about the fact that she would be leaving two young children behind. While I can be here for my son, getting a chance to love him every day, and watch him grow up...

A very close friend of mine had to escape his country as a refugee, after being inprisoned for five years, being starved and tortured (it was unspeakable, truly) for his political views... And he is one of the people in my life who cares so deeply about my situation and about how I am doing, maybe because of what he has gone through, and still is. (He has PTSD).

I look at them and realize that everyone has a burden to bear. Some have a heavier load than others though, and if I am one of those, well, then my back just has to be strong enough to shoulder it.
Didn`t know how strong I could be before I got this illness.

There is something very deep and existential about that question ; "would my life have been different if not for..."
My answer to that is that maybe it would have been just as hard.
There is so much suffering around me, in the world as a whole, and amongst people I am close to also. Why should I be spared?

It might sound strange to think like that, but it keeps me from despairing completely about my own situation.